It's been almost 3 1/2 weeks since I let 'the whole world' know about what I've known for 6 weeks. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's time for you to jump on the band wagon - 'Come what may', came.
As I've let people know, I have good days and I have bad days. Although the good days are becoming more and more distant. People can tell something is up, but appear to hesitate to ask anything. It's nothing new. It's the same thing. Even shopping is hard. When you check out, your checker always asks, "How are you?" I hate that question. My loved ones who are concerned are calling or messaging me, asking if I'm OK.
The truth is. . .
I'm not OK.
For about 3-4 weeks almost straight, I've been angry. Very angry. At anyone. For anything. Even my pets don't make me happy anymore. I just like their company. A smile from me is becoming rare. I feel so lonely and I feel like I'm cutting myself off from everyone I care about. I'm now all worn out from being so angry, all I wanna do is sleep, but, even my dreams are plagued. I know that I am emotionally unstable. I know things are getting bad because I can't even pray for myself right now. As much as I do need help, there is really nothing anyone can do for me.
I just need love, support, encouragement and lots of prayers.
"Those who deserve love the least need it the most."
When Mrs. Booth, whose husband founded the Salvation Army, was only a girl, she was running by the road one day with her hoop and her stick when she saw a prisoner being dragged by a constable to the city jail. A mob had gathered to hoot at the culprit, who walked with his head hung low - the picture of guilt and shame. His image of utter loneliness tugged at her heart. It seemed to her that he didn't have a friend in the entire world. She quickly sprang to his side and marched, head high and a smile on her face, all the way to the jailhouse with him. She was determined to let him know that, guilty or not, there was at least one soul that felt compassion for him.
When Mrs. Booth, whose husband founded the Salvation Army, was only a girl, she was running by the road one day with her hoop and her stick when she saw a prisoner being dragged by a constable to the city jail. A mob had gathered to hoot at the culprit, who walked with his head hung low - the picture of guilt and shame. His image of utter loneliness tugged at her heart. It seemed to her that he didn't have a friend in the entire world. She quickly sprang to his side and marched, head high and a smile on her face, all the way to the jailhouse with him. She was determined to let him know that, guilty or not, there was at least one soul that felt compassion for him.
Too often we are willing to let a "guilty party" take the full brunt of their punishment, or wallow in their misery, without comfort or words of consolation and encouragement. The issue may not be crime but may be divorce or estrangement. The best way to restore a person to a relationship with both God and the offended party, however, is not to let that person remain alone to become fearful or bitter - but rather, to reach out in love and provide support. This does not mean that you condone the action. It does mean that you refuse to condemn the person.
-Author Unknown
I'm so sorry dear. Please know that I love you and I pray for you! I know what you mean about having good days and bad days...and about the store being hard! I can't even tell you how many times I've gone to the store and known that if anyone so much as looked at me weird I would probably burst into tears. And it's hard because I never know when something will set it off. Like, I will be perfectly fine and all of the sudden I see a baby shoe or something and then I feel like crying. Other days I can see lots of babies and be fine. I hope things get easier for you. Try to pray, our Heavenly Father loves you, you're his little girl. We will have to do something soon. I love you!
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