What's in a name?

So, my new, pretty little girl of mine officially has a name:

Timing in the Music.

I have fallen in love with all the new songs that have been coming out recently. I don't ever remember liking so many new releases before. The thing I find interesting is how similar they are; they all seem to be about difficulties and hardships in relationships, yet I can't help loving them. They all speak to me, too. Maybe because I can relate somewhat and it soothes the aching in my heart. Some of them, as beautiful as they are, are completely haunting to me. I don't know why. 

No, I'm not OK.

It's been almost 3 1/2 weeks since I let 'the whole world' know about what I've known for 6 weeks. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's time for you to jump on the band wagon - 'Come what may', came.

As I've let people know, I have good days and I have bad days. Although the good days are becoming more and more distant. People can tell something is up, but appear to hesitate to ask anything. It's nothing new. It's the same thing. Even shopping is hard. When you check out, your checker always asks, "How are you?" I hate that question. My loved ones who are concerned are calling or messaging me, asking if I'm OK. 

The truth is. . .

Halloween weekend

I know I keep promising posts, but, I just don't know when I will get to them. Anyway, this past weekend was SO fun! Best (pre) Halloween I've ever had! It started on Friday night. My wonderful aunt is in town from England and we had a Rasmussen Family Halloween party. We all dress up, stuff our faces, have contests and play games - it's always a blast! (Especially when you have some awesome extended family members, too ;) ) 

This year was the first time ever that Dallin and I matched costumes for Halloween. (and I think my 1st time ever [in many years anyway] that I've dressed up as a 'good guy' or something not scary - what can I say? I love my horror.) 

Anyway - this is how our night ended.... all the super heroes (and super villain?) had a show down with the zombies. You know you're jealous that your family never had a costume party show down ;) 

The next day:

We ran a 5K - our 1st one.

It was the Zombie Chase. We never trained for it - and I know we paid for it, but, it was a blast! 

Afterwards, Dallin, Todd, Coleton and I went to Trafalga and played laser tag for a few hours.

Then we dropped the boys off and went to Gato's to play 

Left 4 Dead and watched episode 302 of 

Walking Dead - we love this show! 

By this time, we were very exhausted! After we enjoyed our lunch from Cafe Rio, we went home to take a much deserved and needed nap. 

Afterwards, we got super heroe'd up again and rescued some civilians from the grasps of zombies! 

We went to the Zombie Apocalypse at the xsi factory in Lehi by Thanksgiving Point; IT.WAS. AWESOME! I love scary stuff and generally don't get scared. This creeped me out and I would TOTALLY recommend it! SO fun! I just wish it was longer! 

OK, to end the night, we attended a dance party that was also in the xsi factory. It was also a debut party for Alex Boye's new single, Zombie.

Oh, c'mon! You know Alex Boye' - Utah famous LDS artist who also happens to be in Mo Tab? 

 

This dude? OK, let's move on.

ANYWAY, Alex Boye' was there, and it was AWESOME! As we were getting in line, they told us to come back to hear him perform. By the time we finished, we missed it. We went back and asked if we could get a picture with him - and we did. :) 

Albeit not a good one, but, a picture regardless. After I asked him if he sang his song, and then that was when were informed that we missed it. I was bummed. So, we headed out to the dance floor - it was pretty empty, but, we tore it up anyway. Dallin was freakin' hilarious since he had his mask on and no one could see his face. We were apparently there long enough for Alex to come back out and sing his new song again. (Which was released today btw) As the music started, he said a few words about the song and then said that  'this song is dedicated to bat girl'; how awesome is that!?

During the song there is an instrumental interlude; in the pick up to it, I slowly realized that through the darkness and the flashing lights that Alex was walking closer and closer to me. Then, he grabbed me and we started dancing! It was SO fun! I got a picture with him, a song dedicated to me, & I got to dance with him?! I can't think of any better way to end the evening. 

You should watch the video. Like. NOW. 

Our Zombie filled day was perfect and so fun! Hope you had an awesome Halloween weekend, too!

Turning 21 . . . again.

I can start lying about my age now, right? Here I am in my favorite week of the entire year, and, for some reason, I'm trying not to allow myself to get excited. The 4th of July is one of my favorite Holidays and it happens to share the same week as my birthday. When it comes to my birthday, that has been the only aspect of my life where I have been extremely spoiled, I will admit it. Thats one perk of having divorced parents - multiple birthdays. I would have my birthday with my dad, my mom, my friends, the extended family party, and since my cousin and I have the same birthday, we sometimes would go out, too. My birthday would be anywhere from a week to a month full event! I've never had to be in school, or work - EVER. 

This year I'm turning 21 again . . . for the 3rd time - OK, OK! I will be 24; I said it! I've been thinking that I'm turning 24 for soo long, that now I actually think I am turning 25. Now, I know that neither age is "old", but, 24 seems like a big jump from 23. At 23, I feel like you still have time to get around or to do certain things. 24 seems like I'm running out of time. I know you're "never too old" to go back to school, but, 24 seems 'too old' to not even have: a 2 year degree, lived on my own, my 1st child or even deciding on when to start trying. If you haven't guessed by now, these are all the main things I'm really insecure about. I really do want to enjoy my birthday this year, so, thats why I'm putting this out there now, I want it said and, hopefully, out of the way.  

EXCITING NEWS!

So, apparently I only blog when either A. I'm not happy with life. or B. When I'm being lazy and having "nothing better to do."

Anyway, things have been going great! School is keeping me on my toes, Dallin still hates his job, but has been getting a lot of over time (which means good money), and if we can sell my car soon, we will be able to get another car that will be completely paid off! *crossing fingers*

The best news of all, is that we got approved for a mortgage so, we are on our way in becoming homeowners! I am SOO excited!!!! I honestly don't care where we move to, I just want a yard and something nice. Dallin, on the other hand, is being extremely picky and keeps changing his mind with location and what he wants. Any advice in home hunting would be greatly appreciated! 

In the mean time, we are trying to sell my car, here is the ad on KSL. If you are interested or know anyone that is, pass it on and let us know! Hope things are going great for you guys! 

God bless!

F.Y.I.

More posts are (slowly) on the way. I currently have 6 posts as drafts right now as I slowly write, revise, and edit them. They are all more serious posts and I want to make sure I say the right things and send across the right messages. So, don't think I'm not doing anything! ;) 

Confession

YES! I KNOW! Too soon for a Christmas background, but, hear me out: I was waiting to get our CD from our photo session to do a new background. I originally wanted to do a more "Fallish" background to go with our new pictures and everything. I had it all planned out. Considering that we got our pictures Nov. 21st and Thanksgiving is the 24th, and as of the 25th it will officially be Christmas season, I didn't want to change backgrounds twice in a week; and I would have. The background I wanted to use was already being used by someone else I follow, so, I didn't want to do it partly because of that, too. I know that it wouldn't bother some of you, but, with my OCD, it would have really bothered me! So, I decided to go ahead and skip to Christmas already; it was hard because while I was doing it, the Scrooge in me kept screaming, "NOOO!" I am a HUGE Scrooge/Grinch. Christmas is one of my least favorite Holidays. (I would go into the reason why, but, I think I prefer to spare everyone.)

Everyone knows that the Christmas colors are red and green, so, atleast besides the colors, it's not super Christmas-y. Over all, I'm pleased with it for the most part.

OK. Now I feel better after explaining. 

Looking back at some old posts....

... I noticed a trend; I seem to do well with blogging in the dead of winter and in the spring, but, stop sometime in the summer and skip fall. I say in a quick post that I will eventually get to my birthday, our Anniversary, etc., and I NEVER DO. So, not only "should" I do this years stuff I missed, I kinda feel obligated to do last years as well. Guess we'll find out what I'm going to do! BRB. 

Happiness

I had to watch this for my Psych class, and found it enlightening. 

This video is like, 4 minutes and is COMPLETELY worth watching!

http://bigthink.com/ideas/16660

Feeling behind

I have not posted in awhile, and feeling "behind" in the blogging world. I never did an update for my birthday, the family reunion, my mom and step dad visiting, me starting school, me quitting my job and being happily unemployed, what we did for our anniversary, my new sister being born and blessed, my sister and sister-in-law being pregnant, nothing. Now it's October and Dallin's birthday is officially less then a month away now, and I don't know what to do for his 25th birthday, especially considering the fact that we are STILL at my in-laws. (Not that living here is a BAD thing, but, it's not the preferred thing; especially since I did not think we would be here this long and we just discovered we need to stay here longer. *sigh* if we had our own space, I wouldn't care as much, but, we don't so that is not the case.) Maybe one of these days I will just throw on a bunch of pictures/videos to make up for it . . . Yes, I like this idea. 

Spoke to soon . . .

This ALWAYS happens. I have horrible bad luck and that I fully blame on my dad! Rasmussen's have the worst bad luck I have ever seen! (I do, however, have the best beginners luck I have ever seen!) Whenever I get excited or get my hopes up about something, it ALWAYS goes wrong and is always canceled or never happens. Guaranteed. Every time. Which is probably another reason why I always come off so "negative". I try not to say anything in hopes that it will happen, so when it does, I can say my happy exclamation during or after. When I open my mouth before hand, I just come back later to say it's not going to happen and then I feel like an idiot for saying something thats actually not going to happen anymore. 

My birthday has not even come yet and I now believe it to be ruined already. I have that day off to discover that Dallin can't get the day off. There's no point in having the day off if he can't either. I have no one else I can celebrate with and I have no desire to spend that day by myself. I could see if I could take someones shift, but, I probably won't be in a good mood and then I won't have a day off next week. I now have no desire to celebrate my birthday and I hate our jobs right now. Pretty sure I could spend the whole day in bed crying. 

What to say???

Just did some 'blog stalking' and read a lot of great blogs and now I feel like blogging but, I don't know what to say. I HAVE been meaning to take a picture of our room, but, it's STILL not done. It's half way painted, so, 1/2 of the room looks nice! I wish I took a pic before so we could have some before and afters. Dallin still works at May Foundry from 6am - 2:20pm every weekday. I just got a 2nd job, so, now I work at Arby's (where I'm training to be a shift manager - and no I am not getting a huge pay increase), MicaBella Cosmetics (a sales position at a kiosk where no one wants to talk to you.) it makes me somewhat happy to be having a job NOT food related - just hate that its sales, but I love the fact that I can work with make up! and technically if you want to include these, I have my DoTerra (this is the one thing that I am SUPER stoked about!) that I am slowly working towards being more involved in, that we could count as a 3rd job, and then there is 'my photography' we could count as a 4th, but, I'm about to give up on that. I have made a photography blog, a page on FB, business cards, you name it! and I get nothing. I have offered free engagements, bridals, mock shoots, etc., and NO ONE is interested. I just don't know what to do with it anymore. I know I am not 'super amazing' but, I'm not bad either! I can't get better unless I practice, and thats just not happening. The more I think about it, the more I just want to delete everything and get rid of my equipment. . . 

I also volunteer at NoMoreHomelessPets at least once a week. I LOVE those doggies! It makes me so sad to see them in the kennel week after week. People - PLEASE whenever you get another animal, PLEASE adopt and save a life! Everybody knows about the Humane society, but, no one knows about NMHP, and the other animal life saving groups. Please go to shelters who put animals down at the end of every month and save their lives! So many animals need to be rescued and everyone just wants puppies/kittens. Please, rescue an animal, get them fixed so we can STOP the rate of the pet over population problem. I know with all of this, I sound super busy. I am, but I'm not, I'm busy enough now that I never see Dallin - which is a good AND bad thing. But, when he goes to bed between 8 and 9 about every night, and IF I am home, I have absolutely nothing to do. We just have our room, and when he is sleeping, its not like I can clean or something. 

I am LOADS happier living here, so, the rut/depression I was in is pretty much gone, so, I am not so miserable anymore. But, because of the past 2 years of me being so depressed, I feel like I have pushed everyone away from me. I feel like the only friends I have are my husbands friends. They are the only people we associate with that we see or talk to on a regular or semi regular basis. Excluded from this list - MY friend wise is Gato, Candice, and Karissa. There are 1 or 2 others, but, interaction with them is a lot less than the previous listed. I have been thinking about my 'friend issue' for months and re-thinking who I want to keep involved in my life, who REALLY are friends, and who is only worth seeing at High School reunions.  I DO want friends and a social life and I feel bad depending on my husband and his friends for my social life, because he needs his alone time with his friends, but, if this is how its going to be, so be it. I just hate that once you get married, you lose SO many good friends, and over time, that number seems to increase. Yes, I may have my husband, but, you need you time and friend time, too; and him - the same.

 I don't view my husband as my best friend - he is my husband. For me, it takes a lot for someone to be at "best friend" status, and what it took for my hubby to be my hubby, took other things - to me they are not the same. It's been an adjustment living here because at the trailer, all the fights we would have would be "sibling induced' fights since they were the core of our issues living there. Here, we don't have that problem and now we are FINALLY able to get to the root of our problems and slowly figure them out and finally start to get to know each other. I just want this 'adjustment' time over - its taking forever!  I think we are going to live here for awhile, which, is going to be hard to accept, but, we are in a LOT of debt and NOW is the time to take advantage of that. I just hope from here, we can feel happier in our marriage and progress better as a couple and as individuals. 

Sorry that this turned out as long as it did! I apparently had more on my mind than I thought I did. So, if you made it this far, might as well leave a comment ;)

THANKS! 

REDO!

I want to re-do Day 5 part B.

A picture of your favorite memory.

At first I didn't know what to do, but, as I have been going along in the challenge and looking through my pictures, I found a picture that made me smile and thought it was fitting and appropriate.

The last couple trips I've made to Seattle to see my mom, we have talked about doing a day trip to Forks. So, when I went up for Thanksgiving last year, we finally went!

In this picture, Amber, Harlin and I are on La Push beach where it was raining and freezing! But, we ran out to the ocean anyway and we had so much fun! I am not a "Twilight" fanatic, but, we figured, we are just a few hours away, why not?

Wish we could have gotten mom in the picture!

***************************************************************

Ok, this has nothing to do with the "re-do", but, I re-discovered this picture and HAD to throw it in!

This picture describes my mom almost perfectly! Wondering whats on her head? It's an XBOX 360 headset for XBOX LIVE.

My mom has been able to enjoy her life the last 3 years or so and the last time she was able to do that was before my mom and dad even knew each other. Meaning, my mom was not happy with her life for a long time. She was excited when she turned 40 because her youngest child was 18 and she is still young enough to go and play. I am happy my mom is no longer depressed and has her life back :) She likes to play, laugh and have fun :)

LOVE YOU MOM!