Well, I guess it was time to take Harry down and make my blog festive like everybody else.
I must say, this is not my most favorite time of the year. I have always been the Grinch or the Scrooge of my family. But, it has also, for my family, not been an easy part of the year from October to December. (My family meaning, Ashley, Cade, Amber, and Mom.) It's extra hard this year because Dallin and I are incredibly broke, though, regardless I find Christmas hard anyway with just 2 full grown adults. But, now my brother, his girlfriend and my niece are with us and I am even more clueless on what to do with 5 of us. We can't even pay rent, how are we going to have a Christmas?
I guess I didn't realize how bad things might get after I lost my job in September. I hated the job, but, things were getting paid. Now I have a job I somewhat enjoy, and now we can hardly pay everything. I also feel that something is missing in my life. For a while I was thinking it was a kid, but, now I don't think thats the case. Part of me is kinda thinking I'm not sure if we're even able to have kids anyway :' (
I think its because I'm not in school. I just feel like I have nothing going for me in life and that i am at a dead end. I did go to "some" college, but, the little I did do, every penny came from my pocket. And I only did 3 classes, that hardly counts as post high school education to me. Last time I was in school was 2 years ago. I didn't qualify for grants because my "mom made too much money" yeah, go tell that to all the single moms out there. I don't know ONE single mom that was ever well off...
And now that I am married, school is harder; yes I know we are officially "poor" now to qualify for grants, but, now bills are being paid for 2 people, we dont have the time to go to school because we are stuck in dead end jobs to pay for our crappy living. Just once in my life I'd like to be out of a rut.
So, I have major Christmas Blues right now. Sorry to be a downer but, I don't have much to look forward to right now.
christmas isn't always about giving gifts, yeah gifts are fun and all, but not having them doesn't make for a crappy christmas, you can all still have a fun christmas season without spending money, being poor is no fun, and being in debt is no fun, and also not being in school really stinks, i wish i could go back, but good things come to those who wait, just have patience and it will all work out, sadly this is coming from me who has also been a debby downer lately too, but i know anyone can get through it
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