Trying to be positive. .

I am more of a 'glass half empty' type of person and I firmly believe that everyone's brains filters things differently - some see things half full, others, half empty - it's just that the half empty viewers seem to be picked on more. I'm going to try to list things that I am grateful for, and, I know this will take awhile because I don't see things that way, so, expect both spectrum's. And I will be stating other things that have been on my mind lately.

• I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and I am grateful that my In-Laws are kind enough (and awesome!) to make room for us in their home.
• I wish we could have our own place - have yet to have one being married; but at least we are no longer in a position where my siblings can no longer take advantage of us.
• I desperately wish SO much that I had a social life and friends :'(
• I'm grateful that Dallin finally has a job and that our income no longer depends on him donating plasma twice a week - I just hate that its a dangerous job, crappy hours and I never see him because he is either working, studying, or sleeping. :(
• I'm grateful to have Gizmo as my 4-legged companion who keeps me company when I am lonely (which is a LOT). I'm just terrified that this lump he has is cancerous and I'm not emotionally stable enough right now for something like that to happen.
• I hate that I am resentful and envious towards people I know moving forward in their lives by attending school, graduating college, starting their careers, getting pregnant, getting a house, or traveling. I should be happy for them; I want to be, but, I'm not. I want to BE one of those people, but, we are so far off from any of that, it's not even funny. I just feel like ever since we got married, we have been going backwards in life, not forwards. (This is my BIGGEST insecurity right now.)
• I'm grateful I have a job and I love the people I work with. - I just hate that I make minimum wage, it's fast food, and NOT my dream job!
• I want to be in school so desperately bad that there are no words to express my want and desire for an education. I just hate how my whole life my family has always made enough to not qualify for government help, so, I can't. The real poor have it easy because the government can help them and the rich can help themselves; it's the middle class people who are the TRULY poor people.
• I hate that Dallin and I have a poor spiritual foundation, but, I'm glad we go to church together every week.
• I'm grateful that Dallin was able to go to school, (although I HATE how they ripped us off and screwed us over! GRR!) and that IF (but hopefully) he passes his national test (CROSS YOUR FINGERS!!), that he can be a Certified Pharmacy Technician so that we can soon hopefully start living more comfortably; I just hope he finds his career path soon! (Since a Pharm Tech DOES make better money, it's not an income a family can survive off of.)
• I'm grateful my Dad lives down the street so I can see my little siblings more and that my Dad is near-by if I need some help. :)