I don't wanna grow up!!!

Dallin can SERIOUSLY drive me nuts, but, it's because he is still young-at-heart and playful and can tap in to his inner child; while mine is locked away in solitary confinement, in a top-of-the-line prison, buried deep inside me, so, Dallin is good for me that way. I need to learn to be "immature" apparently. I was forced to grow up FAST at a young age, so, I don't know what its like to "be a kid". Dallin is SO much better with kids than I am - even with my own siblings! I like having my nieces and nephews and little siblings because I can love them, and play with them all I want, and when they start being a pain in the butt, I can give them back. Kids are DEFINITELY still years away!

ALL I wanted when I was younger was to grow up, and, now that I am here, I want to go backwards. It's been weird living with younger kids again and every time there is a knock at the front door, it's a neighbor kid asking if one of my brothers-in-law can come out and play. I've gotten to know some of their friends, and my BIL's, and, I've forgotten how innocent and care free the younger people can be - I don't EVER remember feeling that way. Coming from a very violent, abusive, neglected, and hurtful background, I forget not everyone comes from a hard life. As stressful as our situation seems, I have been having fun living with my In-Laws :) My Father-In-Law, Kevin, and my Brother-In-Law, Weston, and I have been the night owls. I have LOVED the few nights where Kevin and I have sat and talked for HOURS about . . whatever! I LOVE being able to talk to him and the relationship I have with him, it's been filling my "lack of daddy" void in my life from when I was little. (I'm trying to get to know my dad NOW and have relationship with him because I'm craving it on the inside so badly . . ) Weston is a good kid (fun to tease!) and he does what he can to get you involved in doing something! He works out almost every night and keeps asking me to do push ups or something with him. (I'm getting more motivated to lose weight!) I have been having fun teasing and "beating" on Weston, Kendall (my youngest b-i-l), and their friends who are also good kids and are also fun to tease. :) I think it's been helping me to "lighten up" because I am so serious, and I have been MAJORLY depressed for the last 2 + years or so. I just hate that I am turning 23 (GASP!) next month and these guys are all almost about 10 years younger than me and sometimes make me feel old, but, its been fun! I'm just glad it's been a good experience here so far and I love how my In-Laws are not pushy or imposing :)