Closure

I have to say that closure is one of the best feelings in the world. I think by now that most of my readers know about my "wonderful" childhood. There have been many things that I have pondered "Why?" for years and I love having those epiphanies or "A-HA!" moments. My mom tells me ALL the time, "You are smarter than me when I was at your age." I guess it's true, but, there is still so much more I want to know.

 I've always had a hard time watching those cute, daddy-daughter movies, like

I know that there are other similar movies, but, I can't think of them. Anyways, that was something I always wanted and here Hollywood was shoving something in my face that I didn't have. I always felt like crap after watching those movies. Even in high school when boys would talk about their dates and they would compare what dads would do when they would go to pick up their date. I remember hearing that a boy went to pick up his date and the dad was in the front room cleaning his shot gun to intimidate the boy. I wanted that! I never have really had a relationship with my dad; sure we get along, have fun when we see each other, etc., but, I've been yearning for a deep relationship with that man. So, my goal over the last 2 - 3 years was to get started on that relationship! Tonight I talked with him for an hour! (which does not happen) Part of that hour was me venting a little and he listened! with out trying to fix it and, even better, I felt comfortable doing so! My mom is my go-to person for venting (I am a BIG mommys girl) and it was very nice and refreshing to open up to him. After we hung up I almost started crying (and I never cry!) because I couldn't believe how amazing the connection and the call went. 

My dad and I at my wedding.

My dad and my 2nd youngest sister. He LOVES little kids. 

I truly, deeply hope that whenever Dallin and I DO have children, that they will never know the pain, sorrow, and hurt I endured in my childhood. I want them to be happy and safe and to be children. All I wanted was to grow up so I could escape my life, but, either way I was forced to grow up fast at a young age. I hope Dallin will be an amazing father, and I hope that my children will have an awesome relationship with their Grandpa Rasmussen.