Turns out today was not a very good day and it was full of surprises. Had another fight with my brother's girlfriend (big surprise. . . >>> not really) and then Dallin and I lock ourselves in our room for the night (until now after everyone else is in bed). Dallin and I are very poor communicators and we both have walls up. Today, we made progress (with us atleast, but, we ARE the important ones). I'm not very emotional for a female, and Dallin is SO lucky I am not.
But, tonight, I gave in and let myself finally cry. Dallin is not good at being emotionally supportive and being consoling or saying, "Everything is going to be alright.", If its not ok, there is no point in saying it. But, for us women, it makes us feel better, we KNOW realistically, things may not be ok, but, it makes us feel better. BUT!!!! Dallin did it!
I was able to cry and he was able to handle it and be supportive and comfort me and that is all I have really wanted from him. No, I am not happy with my life right now, and if 5 years ago you asked me where I wanted to be in 5 years from then, now is NO WHERE NEAR what I want. But, I'm comforted by the fact that I know Dallin is here for me, because for awhile, I was not feeling it.
After I had my cry, we were able to just talk (which we can NEVER do) and discovered that Dallin no longer has the desire to be a Pharmacist anymore. I am glad he told me, but, it devastates me that we don't have a plan for our future and he has no idea what he wants to do. I already feel like we are behind, and I hate how this just probably pushed us back some more.
yay! That's great you guys were able to talk. It might be good news though, that he doesn't want to be a pharmacist anymore (sorry if I spelled that wrong). Maybe this will solve the problem of him having to be in school for six more years...maybe it won't take so long with whatever else he chooses.
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