Today we had a wonderful Father's Day and spent the day with both our fathers and families today. Then we left our last get together early, since we had eaten at the previous get together and were not hungry, to spend the rest of our weekend together. We relaxed by watching a movie and reading from our books (I like reading together! Even though we are both reading our own books right now.). Before Dallin went to bed, since his work week begins at 5 AM tomorrow morning, we sat and talked for a little bit. It was a good talk - not a happy talk, but, things were brought up that we need to sort out. It helped me to understand my husband better and helped us realize our current situation into a conscious reality. We have struggled our entire marriage and have not had an easy moment - once. Most couples start out struggling and then work together to get to better stages and places, where, we have gone quite the opposite. We realize that we are all given trials for a reason, especially me with the things I grew up with, but, we are TIRED of struggling. We realize that you don't just get married and instantly get a top of the line house, car, job, education, or kids right away (except for a few people I know), but, is it NOT realistic to at least have your OWN place to call home after almost 2 years of marriage?! We LOVE our family, but, we are TIRED of living with them. It kills me that my own brother and sister have been able to get their own place and we can't; and WE'RE MARRIED!!! There have been a few times where I thought we were heading towards divorce because of the high-stress situations we have been in and have had no privacy or no means to truly take care of our own selves. We are barely making enough money to pay the monthly bills we still have and don't really know how to save enough in a decent amount of time to get our own place. We are both just very discouraged right now. It's even harder knowing that I am the "pessimist" out of the 2 of us and with Dallin being the "optimist" and him usually being the one saying "It will be ok, we can do this.", you know it's a difficult situation when he is the one feeling the despair, heavily sighing into his hands, softly saying in a broken voice, "What are we going to do?"
Marriage definitely isn't easy, but it's SO worth it. I always find comfort in hard times when I feel like Landon and I are in a tough spot to know that God sanctifies marriage and He will bless and strengthen your marriage if you seek for His help :)And it's these hard times now that will make you guys that much stronger and that much more grateful when you finally have your own place, jobs, money, kids, etc etc, etc. Don't give up :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry m'dear. I really think that things will get better for you, especially since you have struggled so much. I think that amazing blessings are in store for you. Sometimes we have to be pushed as far as we can go, but God promises to not give more than we can truly bear. Hang in there. He will be there. Things will work out. I've learned that even when things seem so hard and you truly have no idea what you're going to do and you don't even see a way out of your situation God will provide a way. I've seen this happen and I know it can for you. Stay strong! Love you!
ReplyDeletep.s. I always think about when Moses parted the Red Sea. Can you imagine being one of the children of Israel, they're literally running for their lives(right? weren't they trying to kill them? Anyway, they were running) and the Egyptians are approaching and the come to the Red Sea. There's nowhere to go. There's no way to get out of this. All seems doomed. All seems lost. Then Moses says, "..stand still and see the salvation of God" and then He parts the Red Sea. A way was created. It can be for you too.:)
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