What to say???

Just did some 'blog stalking' and read a lot of great blogs and now I feel like blogging but, I don't know what to say. I HAVE been meaning to take a picture of our room, but, it's STILL not done. It's half way painted, so, 1/2 of the room looks nice! I wish I took a pic before so we could have some before and afters. Dallin still works at May Foundry from 6am - 2:20pm every weekday. I just got a 2nd job, so, now I work at Arby's (where I'm training to be a shift manager - and no I am not getting a huge pay increase), MicaBella Cosmetics (a sales position at a kiosk where no one wants to talk to you.) it makes me somewhat happy to be having a job NOT food related - just hate that its sales, but I love the fact that I can work with make up! and technically if you want to include these, I have my DoTerra (this is the one thing that I am SUPER stoked about!) that I am slowly working towards being more involved in, that we could count as a 3rd job, and then there is 'my photography' we could count as a 4th, but, I'm about to give up on that. I have made a photography blog, a page on FB, business cards, you name it! and I get nothing. I have offered free engagements, bridals, mock shoots, etc., and NO ONE is interested. I just don't know what to do with it anymore. I know I am not 'super amazing' but, I'm not bad either! I can't get better unless I practice, and thats just not happening. The more I think about it, the more I just want to delete everything and get rid of my equipment. . . 

I also volunteer at NoMoreHomelessPets at least once a week. I LOVE those doggies! It makes me so sad to see them in the kennel week after week. People - PLEASE whenever you get another animal, PLEASE adopt and save a life! Everybody knows about the Humane society, but, no one knows about NMHP, and the other animal life saving groups. Please go to shelters who put animals down at the end of every month and save their lives! So many animals need to be rescued and everyone just wants puppies/kittens. Please, rescue an animal, get them fixed so we can STOP the rate of the pet over population problem. I know with all of this, I sound super busy. I am, but I'm not, I'm busy enough now that I never see Dallin - which is a good AND bad thing. But, when he goes to bed between 8 and 9 about every night, and IF I am home, I have absolutely nothing to do. We just have our room, and when he is sleeping, its not like I can clean or something. 

I am LOADS happier living here, so, the rut/depression I was in is pretty much gone, so, I am not so miserable anymore. But, because of the past 2 years of me being so depressed, I feel like I have pushed everyone away from me. I feel like the only friends I have are my husbands friends. They are the only people we associate with that we see or talk to on a regular or semi regular basis. Excluded from this list - MY friend wise is Gato, Candice, and Karissa. There are 1 or 2 others, but, interaction with them is a lot less than the previous listed. I have been thinking about my 'friend issue' for months and re-thinking who I want to keep involved in my life, who REALLY are friends, and who is only worth seeing at High School reunions.  I DO want friends and a social life and I feel bad depending on my husband and his friends for my social life, because he needs his alone time with his friends, but, if this is how its going to be, so be it. I just hate that once you get married, you lose SO many good friends, and over time, that number seems to increase. Yes, I may have my husband, but, you need you time and friend time, too; and him - the same.

 I don't view my husband as my best friend - he is my husband. For me, it takes a lot for someone to be at "best friend" status, and what it took for my hubby to be my hubby, took other things - to me they are not the same. It's been an adjustment living here because at the trailer, all the fights we would have would be "sibling induced' fights since they were the core of our issues living there. Here, we don't have that problem and now we are FINALLY able to get to the root of our problems and slowly figure them out and finally start to get to know each other. I just want this 'adjustment' time over - its taking forever!  I think we are going to live here for awhile, which, is going to be hard to accept, but, we are in a LOT of debt and NOW is the time to take advantage of that. I just hope from here, we can feel happier in our marriage and progress better as a couple and as individuals. 

Sorry that this turned out as long as it did! I apparently had more on my mind than I thought I did. So, if you made it this far, might as well leave a comment ;)

THANKS!